Depression, anger and the newness of the old.

So, here I am. It’s been some time since I updated here. But lately, I feel like I’ve been at a crossroads regarding gaming. I posted on my Twitter account not long ago (https://twitter.com/VirtualCaveman) about whether or not it might be time for me to give up gaming. I got a lot of good responses there, and a lot of food for thought.

But as it turns out, my issue didn’t have anything to do with gaming. It has more to do with my state of mental health than anything else.

As some of you may know, in September of 2020, I almost died. This had nothing to do with Covid-19, but rather, fatty liver disease, coupled with an internal bleed. The doctors weren’t sure I would pull out of it, and even advised my wife to prepare for the worst. I remember virtually none of that first weekend, as my brain was swimming in blood ammonia (which I still have to take medication for). When I finally regained consciousness, nearly three days had passed. I was out of the hospital by the end of that week, and back at work the next. This proved to be a problem, as I had not completely recovered. I still had to take time to go to doctor’s appointments, plus there were still days that I just felt sick and had to call in, as they’d usually be followed by vomiting. My employer’s idea of giving me recovery time was to drop my hours to part-time, and then, after a particularly grueling round of appointments, my FMLA time that I had to take in early 2021 was about to run out, and as I was in no real shape to return to work, they considered my request for an FMLA extension as a “voluntary resignation.” Real nice. Luckily, I was able to go on unemployment because of the severity of my illness, although it was a rough couple months until it kicked in.

Because of all of this, though, things changed. I had to change my diet completely, I found myself having trouble driving, and with Covid still running rampant, I was mainly self-isolating due to the liver disease compromising my immune system. There were a few other things that happened as well that I’m not going to talk about here, but the end result was my life-long depression rearing its ugly head for the first time in years. I felt (and still do, to a degree) like a burden to my wife, who not only still works full time, but has her own medical issues to deal with. I’d say the best thing to happen to me in the past year was the birth of my first granddaughter and second grandson (grandson number three is on the way, btw), and while there are times that I’m perfectly capable of helping out my granddaughter’s mother with her, there are times that I just can’t. This bothers me. I know my ex-wife thinks I was a horrible father (and husband), but I did learn a lot back then. I know the stress my step-daughter has to deal with, and I want to do what I can to alleviate that, but there are times I just can’t, and then she has to step in and help take care of me, which is an added burden she doesn’t need.

Believe me, this has not just been a long vacation. This has sucked hard.

This makes me equal parts depressed and angry. And since I’m not about to take that out on anyone, I focused on my games. To an extent, they became something that defines me. I call myself “the Splatterhouse guy,” after all. I brought back West Mansion not just because I knew it would make a lot of people happy, but as a way to re-establish my relevance in a world that’s changed so much from when I first started it. Do I want the “clout,” as the term means these days? When it comes to Splatterhouse, yes. I’m not ashamed to admit that. Back in the first decade of this century, whenever someone thought Splatterhouse, they thought of me and my work. I helped keep the franchise alive, to the point where Namco Bandai came to me when they were making the 2010 game, because I had the connection with the fanbase and I saved them a ton of time in research with the info had gathered on West Mansion.

That’s not the case anymore. Granted, I didn’t help matters any when I shut the site down in 2011 and kept it closed for a decade, but these days, whatever clout I have has dispersed. YouTubers, streamers, and so forth have made it easier to learn about the series than by wading through the multiple walls of text and images I have on the site. I’m still stubbornly hanging onto the old ways, even still hand-coding my own HTML. I’m a Web 1.0 guy in a soon-to-be Web 3.0 world, and I’m having the hardest time adapting.

Pictured: old.

“But why not stream or make videos about Splatterhouse yourself?” some may be asking. Believe me, I’m doing you a favor by not doing that. I’m an ugly fat guy with bad teeth (thanks, non-existent affordable healthcare!) and a weird voice: the very prototypical nerd stereotype, which would be complete if I were a single virgin and living in my parents’ basement. Luckily, I avoided all that.

See? See right there? That’s the depression kicking in. I could have gone back and edited that whole thing out, but no, this is me: warts and all.

Anyway, all that aside, what about quitting gaming for good? Was it something like this?

As it turns out, no, it wasn’t (although there are times when I feel absolutely lousy that it can be). And I just can’t quit, either. It’s been part of my life for far too long. After discussing things with a couple of good friends of mine, plus reading all of the responses on Twitter, I realized something. I’ve been so focused on discussion and writing about games that I haven’t really taken the time to properly play them recently. So it’s not that I want to give them up, but rather, I need to get back to basics and play. I fully intend to take a different approach this time, too, by playing games from genres that usually don’t appeal to me: RPGs, FPSes, sports and such. We’ll see if this works.

Still, they’re going to be games for consoles I already own. I don’t have the cash to afford a Switch or anything past the PS3/Xbox 360 era. So I figure I’ll start with a few of the classics from the time. I have an ongoing quest in Final Fantasy II (SNES) that I intend to get back to. I figure that’s a good starting point. And hey, for the most part it’s all new to me, hence the newness of the old.

Anyone have any suggestions?

An incredible crisis.

Never let it be said that I don’t (eventually) give the public what it wants.

Crisis Force – Konami – 1991

Not a single one of Konami’s Famicom shooters could be considered “bad”, or even “average”. All of them were outstanding. But only a couple of them could be considered “phenomenal”. Crisis Force, Konami’s last Famicom shooter, is one of those rarities.

In the year 199X, Tokyo City is attacked by the mechanized forces of the lost civilization of Atlantis. All seems lost, until two twins, Asuka and Maya, who are descendants of the people of the ancient civilization of Mu, board their Aura Wing fighters and begin a counterattack. Their battle will take them from Tokyo City to the heart of Atlantis, where the Atlantean ruler, Pharaoh, awaits them.

The Aura Wings have three forms. The first, Front Offense Type, is strongest against enemies that attack head-on. Side Offense Type fires both to the front and to the sides, making it the most versatile of the three. The final form, Rear Offense Type, is handy for blasting the enemies that come up from behind you. You switch between the three types by pressing A. You also have a stock of bombs that can be triggered by pressing A, but only while you’re holding down B to fire. This setup can lead to some accidental bomb triggers in the heat of battle, which is one of the only flaws the game has.

There are also the requisite speed power ups, of course, and two types of weapon power-ups that can each be leveled three times. Each weapon is used by each ship differently: for example, the wave shot power up used by the Front Offense Type becomes a homing shot when you switch to the Side Offense Type. There are no shields, but every time you get hit, your shot power goes down a level. If you don’t have any power-ups, that’s instant death.

Then there are the items you pick up that resemble blue jewels. Collect five of those without dying, and the Aura Wing transforms into an invincible laser-spewing killing machine. You have a timer which counts down before reverting back to normal, and every time you take a hit, it goes down faster, but if you collect more blue jewels, additional time will be added to the timer.

Now that the basics are out of the way, it has to be said: Crisis Force is gorgeous. I once called Crisis Force “the Axelay of the Famicom”, and years later, I still stand by what I said. The enemies are all colorful and nicely detailed, several of the bosses are screen-filling monstrosities, each stage has new graphical surprises, and there’s even an insane amount of parallax scrolling! It is one of the games that needs to be seen in action to believe. On top of that, it has one of the best OSTs Konami ever came up with for the Famicom. This isn’t a shock, because Konami’s games are known for their fantastic music, but it’s good that they didn’t drop the ball at the very end.

The Atlanteans are a mixed bunch, ranging from standard robots and ships to craft inspired heavily by the work of the ancient Aztecs, Mayans and Egyptians – especially the Egyptians, starting in the later stages. Stage 5 is nothing but an assault against a fleet of ancient Egyptian-themed battleships, culminating with a boss fight against a beautifully detailed multi-screen mega battleship.

Does the game have flaws? Of course. Besides the one I mentioned earlier, it is a bit on the short and easy side – but on the flip side, you can easily be nailed by some cheap hits. Also, instead of composing different pieces of music for every single stage, a couple of the early stage themes were reused in later levels. But those are the only flaws I can think of.

If you like shooters and NES games, you owe it to yourself to play Crisis Force whatever way you can. Until you’re able to, though, why not check out this longplay?

Intermission.

Sorry guys, I’m not feeling up to writing today (that’s what liver disease can do to you). So for those of you expecting my write-up on Crisis Force, it’ll have to wait. Again. I’ll rest up this weekend and pick up fresh on Monday.

But just to whet your appetite, here’s some cool Crisis Force-related things.

First, the Aura Wing, as it appears in the PlayStation 2 game Airforce Delta Strike.

Second, a remix of the first and sixth stage theme from Crisis Force as heard on the Otomedius Excellent OST, “Re-entry.” Say what you will about the Otomedius games, but they sure did have decent soundtracks with load of remixes from other Konami OSTs.